故事大全 - 谁丢了绿帽子

14、偷鸡不成蚀把米

唐吹花的故事已经结束了。

下面是陈皮的故事。

你可能已经忘了，陈皮就是剃头匠。半个月之前，他还不会剃头，在县城一家工厂看仓库。

工厂有一个保安，是木勺镇人。

有一次，他们在一起闲聊。保安说木勺镇有一座道观，道观里有一尊泥像，很值钱。

陈皮动了歪脑筋，想把泥像偷走，去卖钱。他策划了好几天，最后伪装成一个剃头匠，到了木勺镇。

他编造了一个谎言：他到木勺镇寻找一个左屁股上有蝴蝶状红色胎记的女人。他之所以这么说，是想转移木勺镇人的注意力，然后趁机把泥像偷走。

至于毛香左屁股上的红色胎记，他毫不知情。套用一句话：本故事纯属虚构，如有雷同，实属巧合。

为了行动方便，他住进了道观里。

白天，他一边剃头，一边踩点。

过了两天，他决定动手了。

一个月黑风高的夜晚，他抱着泥像，孤独地行走在木勺镇的石板路上。走着走着，他听见有人跑了过来，连忙把泥像放下，逃跑了。

他以为偷泥像的事东窗事发了。

跑了一阵子，他不甘心，又折了回去。

他看见一个人把泥像抱回家，又锁上大门，不知道去了哪儿。他翻墙进去，想再一次把泥像偷走。

大门锁着，院墙太高，他没办法把一尊泥像弄出去。最后，他灵机一动，把泥像放到床上，还给它盖上了被子。

他要装神弄鬼，让那个人害怕，把泥像送回去。

他打听过了，那个人叫唐吹花。

几天过去了，唐吹花一点反应都没有。

有一天，他看见唐吹花去买羊肉，就悄悄地翻墙进入他家，在墙上刻了三个字：三块五。

他觉得唐吹花应该害怕了。

那天晚上，他一直躲在唐吹花家附近，等着唐吹花把泥像送回去。

唐吹花还是一点反应都没有。

难道唐吹花没发现刻在墙上的字？

他决定冒一次险，拨开门闩，趁唐吹花熟睡之际把泥像抱走。刚忙活了一会儿，一块砖头从天而降，砸中了他的脑袋。

他一下子懵了。

大门响了。

他回过神来，撒腿就跑。跑到拐角处，他下意识地回头看了一眼，发现大门口探出一个脑袋，顿时僵住了。

唐吹花蹲了下来，似乎又要捡砖头砸他。他不知道，唐吹花不是蹲了下来，而是跪了下去。

他吓坏了，掉头就跑。

他冥思苦想了很久，决定用调虎离山之计，把唐吹花引开，然后去偷泥像。

他找来几个人，让他们去集市上搞免费摸奖活动。

他还准备了三套方案，引诱唐吹花去摸奖。结果，那些方案都没派上用场，胡瓜瓜把唐吹花推到了摸奖现场。

那天晚上，他们没等到唐吹花，却等来了胡瓜瓜。

他们赶胡瓜瓜走，他不走，一定要去埃及，嘴里还念叨着拍照发朋友圈之类的话。他们用砖头砸了胡瓜瓜两下，跑了。

陈皮又去唐吹花家打探情况。

他听见唐吹花在给泥像道歉，没憋住，笑了一下。

一计不成，他又生一计。

他找了一个同伙，冒充道士，骗唐吹花把泥像送回去。

唐吹花上当了。

陈皮的同伙有一辆面包车，停在一个僻静的地方。他们准备把泥像抬到面包车里，运走卖钱。

他的同伙穿着道袍，不方便，就把道袍脱下来，披在了泥像身上。

万万没想到，唐吹花突然折了回来。

他们只能选择逃跑。

唐吹花又把泥像抱回了家。

顺便说一句：大胖虫子只是迷路了，与他们无关，与张天师无关。

陈皮无计可施了。

最后，他把唐吹花约出来，说愿意出两万块钱，买泥像。

唐吹花立刻就答应了，还很热情地帮他抬泥像。

他终于得到了泥像，却差一点背过气去。

泥像让唐吹花用油漆涂抹得乱七八糟，看着像金刚葫芦娃，又像哪吒。唐吹花还把张天师手里的棍状物，给改成了红缨枪。

它分文不值了。

坐在面包车里，陈皮无比沮丧。为了这件事，他前前后后花了三万多块钱，最后却得到了一个不伦不类的工艺品。

他拿起扳手，三下两下把泥像砸碎了。

在一块碎片上，他发现了两行字：东方红搪瓷厂，一九五七年造。

它原本就不值钱。

全文完

Introduce:This is story of an absurd ethics. One individual character is incompetent person, a cheater, a master, maiden, artisan of a have one's head shaved, for a green cap, making posse …… start in disorder is weird. The process is bloodcurdling. What is ending, I had not thought good. Go along with it. 1, fresh gale blows the Zhao of artisan of have one's head shaved that come not green have a nickname: Express member. This monicker looks not to honour do not demote, very common. Actually, the content that its backside under cover can'ts bear. Its means says Zhao is not green when doing that thing, the member that resemble an express is same, put the thing to the doorway to go, never take the door. Because that thing is lumpish in crotch, zhao is not green feel oneself wore green hat all the time, just do not have evidence. He did not abandon collect evidence all the time. This day night, he goes seeing a doctor to the ass of Home Laoqian. He is a vet. Wooden spoon town is very quiet, be the sort of letting that what the person fears is quiet. A few street lamp are shining alonely, appear night is blacker. Wind is very big, blow so that the whole world is in ramshackle. Walk out of a lane, abduct is curved, zhao is not green see there is a man below street lamp. That is artisan of a have one's head shaved, there is a burden on the side, of a carring pole is red Qi Chang directly stool and surround the cloth, knife, tool that cuts and so on, another is a small burner, there is one boiler water above, "Bubble bubble " risk steam. Zhao is not green some are surprised. He had not seen carry pole with its load of such have one's head shaved a lot of years. He goes by, doubt ground says: "Of dry what? " that man looks at him, abasement ground says: "Of have one's head shaved. " he is about 40 years old, countenance Jun Lang, it is a little abjection only, of a stubbly beard. "What do you call? " " dried tangerine or orange peel. " stopped, he explains again say: "Dried tangerine or orange peel is blindly Chinese traditional medicine, it is cutcha orange skin, OK and appetizing, expectorant. " not green face about should walk along Zhao. "Wait. " dried tangerine or orange peel called him. "What thing? " dried tangerine or orange peel looks at him seriously, ask suddenly: "Do you throw a thing? " Zhao is not green some are indescribable: "What thing? " " green cap. " laugh of dried tangerine or orange peel, smile is very deep. Zhao is not green wait for him patiently to laugh, said sentence: "Really dull. " face about went. Rearward of dried tangerine or orange peel says: "There is birthmark of red of shape of a butterfly on the left end of that woman. " have a paragraph of ways to old Qian Jiahai, both sides is the house that does not have lamplight, do not see a person. Zhao is not green turn around turn back. Have a thing, he must go back ask a wife. Artisan of that have one's head shaved disappeared. He ases if is fresh gale is blown come, fresh gale blows him again. Not green stamp opens Zhao house door, the first saw a wife. Wife put on a long face, the eyes has some of fleet, a pair of shifty-eyed appearance. "You are